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Dear men, it’s ok to cry, Chef says as she shares emotional story of ‘okada’ rider weeping by roadside

Published

October 3, 2019

There is a popular saying that ‘real men don’t cry’, the saying seems to be as old as man. Men have also patterned their lives along this saying to portray themselves as ‘tough’ and dependable even when all is not well with them.

A Nigerian Chef, Ify Alfred, has shared an emotional story to negate this agelong saying as she advised men to cry it out when they can no longer bottle up their emotions.

“It’s ok to feel bad. You are human. You are not stones,” she said.

Ify made the assertion following her encounter with an elderly commercial motorcycle rider otherwise known as ‘Okada’ rider weeping in front of a police station in Lagos.

The chef said she was on her way to Aswani market in Isolo area of Lagos on another motorcycle when she sighted the man, but the comment from the rider of the Okada she mounted who shouted on the weeping man to ‘man up’ made her alight from the bike and approached the man to know what he was going through.

As she got closer to the man, she found out he had lost his wife who left behind two children. One of the kids was lying ill at the hospital with no hope of raising funds to treat him because his motorcycle has been seized by policemen asking for N3000 bribe.

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Ify who also couldn’t hold her emotions broke down in tears as she consoled the man.

While she was still there consoling the man, “a man in a Toyota jeep saw us and stopped, packed by the side and came to meet us to find out what was wrong…He gave him the N3000 to give them and they released his bike.” she said.

She narrated:

“A few days ago I was on a bike to Aswani market when I saw an elderly man in front of Aswani police station crying like a baby. I wanted to pass and mind my business when the okada man carrying me shouted at him “MAN UP, YOU ARE A MAN, NO DEY FUCK UP”

“I got angry and asked him to drop me, I paid him off and turned to go meet the crying man, I already had tears in my eyes before I could reach him. I hugged him like I have known him and he cried the more.

“We both cried and people passing were just looking at us. “I still haven’t asked him why he was crying but I wanted him to understand it’s OK to not be so strong.

“A man in a Toyota jeep saw us and stopped, packed by the side and came to meet us to find out what was wrong.

“His wife is late and left two little children for him one of the kids was seriously ill and he was trying to make some money to buy drugs from the local pharmacy when police stopped him and seized his bike for refusing to give them some money.

“He cried telling his story, explaining that he didn’t have any money on him and will settle them on return but they seized his bike and that day was the second day.

“His son gets more sick by the day and he can’t do anything but look at him and cry. The man asked if I was related to him and I said no I just saw him crying and wanted to comfort him and find out whats wrong.

“Together we went back to the police station, the man asked him how much were they demanding and he said N3000. He gave him the N3000 to give them and they released his bike.

“He almost laid down on the floor in appreciation. He also gave him an extra N7,000 to get meds for the son. We both thanked him and he drove off. The bike man insisted I follow him to know his place and help take his son to Isolo General Hospital.

“Luckily we were attended to immediately, I gave him the money I wanted to use and buy stuffs at Aswani market, he was so grateful and told the nurses to help thank me.

“I was happy I was able to help. Almost every evening after work I intentionally drop at the bike stand where he and other bikers wait for passengers just to patronise him. He will let out a big smile and we will gist till he gets to my gate.

“I invited him and his kids to come around on Sunday for lunch, he promised to come. I can’t wait to have them around.

“Dear men, It’s ok to cry. It’s ok to feel bad. You are human. You are not stones. I appreciate you all and all the little things you do for us all. God bless all men.”