The lady who was severely beaten up by her boyfriend in a video that went viral on the internet a while back has finally spoken up.
The said lady gave the narrative of how the assault happened and why she stayed put and took the beatings.
After investigation, the identities of the boyfriend and his friends were revealed – the victim has now been identified as Dooshima Ella Terwase.
Ella said Moses Chiutar, aka Junior, a 100 level student, came back home from Caritas University, Enugu on Wednesday night, 18th March 2020, and asked to see her so they could resolve the issue about her being pregnant with his child.
Ella said she had exams to write so she turned down his invitation. However, Junior’s friend, Precious Blessing, aka Preshy Ibile, persuaded her to go and see Junior.
She paid Moses Chiutar Junior a visit on Friday, March 20, 2020, but refused to go inside the house. However, Junior insisted.
When she got in, she says Junior pulled a gun on her and used it to threaten her in the presence of his friends – Tosin, Blessing, Precious and Eskay.
Ella said Junior then confronted her on her claims that she conceived for him and the confrontation turned physical after Eskay advised Junior to beat her so as to teach her a lesson.
The victim said that while Junior was beating her, Tosin held her from behind at a point, allowing Junior to beat her more.
After the assault, Ella, whose father is dead, was afraid to go home to her widowed mother.
“I was afraid to tell mum,” She told activist Ukan P Kurugh who spoke with her and shared details of their conversation.
The video, which was recorded by Precious was transferred to Tosin and he posted it online that same Friday.
A day later, on Saturday, March 21, 2020, the video was already viral and Junior made a call to Ella, begging her to help protect him as people were calling for his head.
Ella, with the help of Ukan Kurugh, has gone to the police station to officially lodge a complaint.
Narrating the incident, Ukan Kurugh wrote:
Dooshima and Junior: What Actually Happened
Dooshima Ella Terwase, who was mercilessly beaten by her boyfriend Moses Chiutar a.k.a Junior (with Facebook account name: King Marret De Entertainer), is a final year secondary school student.
She told me that on Wednesday night, 18th March, 2020, Junior, who had come home from Caritas University Enugu, where he is undergoing studies called her to his house to resolve a dispute that brewed in the course of their relationship. She suspected that she had conceived for Junior.
According to Ella, she had exams to write and put off the visit till that fateful Friday, 20th March, 2020. Initially, Ella said she turned down the request but Junior’s friend Precious Blessing (Facebook name: Prëshy Ïbilë – it was Precious that recorded the video) persuaded her to come for settlement.
“So on Friday I went there. I sat outside and he (junior) invited me into the house that we should settle the matter before his mother comes back. I told him to tell me what he had for me but he insisted that I should come in.
“To avoid drawing attention, I went in with him. They were four – Junior, Tosin, Precious and the other guy – Eskay. While we were talking Precious was recording and was saying that see these people now talking as if they have no problem,” Ella narrated.
She explained that Junior would then pull a short gun on her but then reassured her that he was only frightening her. Suddenly, Junior’s countenance changed and he went physical on her.
Ella further said Eskay told Junior to beat her up so that she will learn and while Junior was beating her, it got to a point when Tosin held her from behind, allowing Junior the chance to beat her more and Precious would later open the door for her to run out.
Curiously, Junior’s trick to put fear into the teenager worked. Ella did not come home after the incident.
“I was afraid to tell Mum,” Ella said. Ella’s Dad is no more.
When asked how she came to know that the video was online, she said calls began coming in from her friends that they’ve seen her in a video online. “Some of my friends wanted to react but I told them not to put me into further problem.
“Yesterday (Saturday, 21st March, 2020), Junior called. He began calling till in the afternoon but I did not pick his calls. When I later picked, he was pleading that I should help to protect him,” Ella said.
According to her, Precious recorded the video, transferred it to Tosin, who first posted it (online).
Junior assaulted Ella for saying he is responsible for her condition (pregnancy)
Now, having identified Ella, we are heading to the Police to officially lodge a complaint.
We appreciate everyone that has provided useful information that enables us to get this far. FIDA has mandated two lawyers to follow up the matter. Very senior military and paramilitary officers have also indicated interest in the matter and we are grateful to all that have shown concern, one way or the other in this matter.
Junior, there is no more time. In your own interest, report yourself to the Police Station nearest to you. Failure to do so, we are coming after you and there is no hiding place for you. Report yourself to Police, alongside your friends.
Advice on Marriage from the Divorced BY Crystal Jackson
I am writing this on what would have been my wedding anniversary. I hate that I still remember the date, that it’s burned into my brain. I wish I could forget.
I woke up happy that I changed my life and didn’t waste any more time in an unhealthy relationship. Gratitude isn’t a bad way to start the day. In fact, normally, I’d recommend it. But on the heels of gratitude was the memory of another day in what feels like another life.
My wedding day was garbage. Even when I was married, I would have said that. It was stressful and low-budget and lacklustre. I’d compromised everything I wanted because of someone else’s preference, and my then-fiancé didn’t seem particularly excited to be marrying me. My expert-level denial told me he was just nervous, but deep down, I knew better.
Whatever I had wanted for my wedding day, it wasn’t what I got. But I was hopeful about the marriage even if the wedding day was far from the one of my dreams. When it rained, I told myself it was lucky. When the day went to hell in a handbasket, I said it would be a story we’d tell our grandchildren. I tried to make the best of it, but I would not relive that day for love or money.
Honestly, it could have been the most magical, extravagant day of my life, and I would feel the same. I would still feel glad that I freed myself, however long it took, but also sad for the person I used to be who believed that it was a relationship that would go the distance. The marriage is dead, but the experience yielded much in the way of life lessons.
With that in mind, I thought about what advice I’d offer those who aren’t yet married but are going to be. I wondered what advice I would have given to myself if present me could have a talk with the girl in the white dress who didn’t know the sky was falling. What could have helped prepare me? What did I want younger me to know?
This is what I came up with:
We need to know why we want to get married at all. Is it because it’s expected or time or the next step? Is it supposed to provide some sort of security or commitment or social acceptance? The reason matters.
We also need to know why we’re marrying that particular person. We need a damn good reason, and “love” alone isn’t good enough. Plus, we need to be able to differentiate between love and attachment or codependence. The why of what we’re doing is more important than anything else.
Decide if this is the epic love we’ve always wanted or settling for something that’s good enough.
Epic love exists. It’s out there. We probably won’t find it if we’re married to someone else. No one wants to be the person someone has settled for, so why would we do this to someone else? We need to believe in a love that compliments an already full life, that makes us the best version of ourselves. Epic love doesn’t ask us to give up who we are to exist inside of it.
Get counselling — and not just pre-marital counselling either.
Real counselling could be a real help. Pre-marital counselling may ask some of the right questions, but by that point, the marriage is already decided on. How often do we back out by the time we’re making wedding plans? I feel like couples counselling could be much more beneficial at an earlier stage — when we know we want to go the distance and we want to make sure to preemptively address issues.
Trust our friends.
Unless we surround ourselves with negative people who hate everyone, if our friends don’t like our partner, there’s a good reason. We don’t need to marry someone our friends hate — or who hates our friends. It’s a flashing neon warning sign of trouble ahead!
Opposites attract — but later repel.
Never underestimate the power of common interests. While we don’t have to love all the same things, we need enough common interests to go the distance — or at the very least, the willingness to try new things and to be respectful of our differences.
Beware of quirks.
Quirks are cute — when we’re dating. But some of the things we find endearing at the beginning become an active source of frustration later. We need to be able to tell the difference between quirks we can live with and red flags we won’t be able to stand.
Understand that time changes all of us.
I got married young and believed that I would always be who I was then. I’m not. Life happens. Hopefully, we learn and grow, constantly evolving. The problem comes when we aren’t really on the same page in the first place and then evolve in different directions — or when one person evolves and one stays stagnant. It takes intentional effort to grow together and to allow the person we love to grow in new and changing directions.
Pay attention to the subjects we avoid.
This is a big one. If there are areas of our relationships where we don’t look too closely, there’s something we’re avoiding that could trip us up later. Not only is it conflict-avoidant, but it’s also a major sign of denial.
We need to love ourselves first.
Half of all marriages don’t end in divorce. I think the number is likely higher. But honestly, I think the reason is that we often don’t know who we are as individuals before we try sharing our lives with someone else.
We need to be alone — truly alone, without dating — before we can be with someone else in a healthy way. We need to know ourselves and love that person in order to figure out what kind of life we want. Enjoying our own company is essential to being able to be healthy inside of a relationship.
Deal with our personal baggage.
Before we leap into marriage, we need to deal with our issues. It’s not anyone else’s job to fix us, and getting married sure as hell won’t do it anyway. We all have issues — every single living, breathing human. Whether we see a therapist, pick up a self-help book, or just practice better habits, we need to make personal growth a lifetime priority regardless of our relationship status. Whatever we don’t address will certainly impact our relationships.
Plan (and focus) on the marriage — not the wedding.
I look back at the organization of my own lacklustre wedding and realize that I didn’t need to put more time into planning a better wedding. I needed to look at and talk about what we both wanted from a marriage. His idea and mine were vastly different. Our values weren’t the same, and this became more and more obvious as we got older.
We put so much time, energy, and resources into the wedding, but we act like the marriage itself is effortless. Marriages take work and intention. It’s learning how to adjust to someone else’s way of living, to fight fair, to negotiate the division of labour equitably, and to find that balance between what we want for ourselves and what we want as a couple. We could spend a year planning a wedding and be utterly unprepared for being married.
We can’t control other people.
We can know ourselves and love someone well, and it still might not work out. Marriage isn’t any more of a guarantee than anything else. This is where risk comes in. If we decide to make our relationship legal and to promise to share our lives with someone else, we need to know that the legal designation won’t give us security.
All it means is that we’re telling the world that we’re devoted to trying. And if it doesn’t work out? I hope we learn something and still choose to love again.
As a society, we spend so much time focused on relationship status and labels. There’s an expectation that we date, get engaged, get married, and have children. But why? Do we know, or do we just follow the rules even if they don’t fit what we want for our lives?
I know friends who are happily married and happily single, friends who are happy to be parents and those who never want to be. Almost everyone I know has figured out that life rarely works out according to our careful plans. But it still works out, and if we keep learning and growing, it works out better than anything we ever planned.
Doubters of Covid-19 are the true Nigerians BY Ayodele Okunfolami
Sir: Government at all levels and private bodies have continued to use several channels to inform the populace of the reality of the pandemic and how they can keep safe, however, not a few Nigerians remain sceptical.
These doubting Thomases may be convinced that COVID-19 is real abroad but not in Nigeria. They view the Coronavirus pandemic as nothing but another scamdemic the Nigerian political class are using to enrich themselves.
They wonder how it is easier to locate the poorest of the poor who typically are without addresses for palliatives but can’t contact trace travellers with official passports and contacts to be tested.
They ask how the school feeding programme is being carried out when schools are not in session but complain they don’t have enough beds for COVID-19 patients.
They query the speed in which the social register increased by a million in two weeks but tests for coronavirus is still below 40,000 after three months. These things don’t sum up.
Word on the street is that since some index states got grants in billions of naira from the federal government to tackle the disease, other states don’t want to be left out and so are churning out inflated cases even if the illnesses are mild fevers unrelated to corona.
The doubters question how Lassa fever that is claiming more lives is all of a sudden neglected to battle a virus they swear is not a black man’s disease.
Conspiracy theories floating the air makes matters worse. Are Africans pawns in the struggle for who controls the emerging world order? Is it a lab virus to depopulate the earth? Does it have any connection with 5G? Why the uncharacteristic rush by a hitherto absentee National Assembly to repeal the archaic quarantine act for a new one that makes vaccination obligatory?
If you think the Thomases are the uninformed, you are wrong. Even a sizable fraction of the urban elite propagates the falsehood of the whole thing.
This is being reflected in the noncompliance to the lockdowns, social distancing or wearing of facemasks in banks, shopping malls and other supposed corporate settings the elite patronize.
These Thomases should not be blamed. The inability to lead the conversation, engage the people and be transparent in dealings by those in authority have led to rumours and fake news making the communication managers mainly debunking already viral false information.
And when they do speak, it is muddled in contradictions. The foggy explanations on the whereabouts, identity and mission of the Chinese 12 (or are they more) and the messy quarantining of the Benue index case only adds to the potpourri of cynicisms.
Why does it appear as if some states are discrediting the work of NCDC priding in their contestable zero positive patients? And why did NCDC, a supposedly data-driven agency, unprofessionally retract some of its figures in seeming apology to some states?
Beyond what is being heard, the inaudible is louder. We have all lost faith in the government at one time or the other. Our belief in the government protecting us keeps eroding as we moved from hiring private security to installing more fortifying home burglaries to avoiding living in certain areas.
When we couldn’t get potable water straight from our kitchen sinks that makes us all drill personal boreholes, our belief in the government watered. When we enrolled our children in extramural lessons because their undermotivated teachers and underequipped public schools couldn’t give them the optimum.
We are now moving them from private schools to school overseas. It is the same with the health sector where we now trust alternative medicines and prayers more than teaching hospitals. Even those that use the pulpit to encourage us to believe in Nigeria have their children in Canada.
Those that doubt COVID-19 doubted it long before the index case was reported in our shores. Distrust in the government is subliminally becoming a religion and daily press briefings or campaigns by elected officials washing their hands with water flowing from golden faucets won’t make proselytes of them overnight. Good governance will.
So, if you encounter one of those people that don’t believe in coronavirus, just spare yourself arguments. Socially distance yourself from them because their carelessness may infect you with either the reality of the existence of the disease or the reality that you are the one living in deceit.
Ayodele Okunfolami, Festac, Lagos.
Full text of US letter demanding probe of Akinwumi Adesina
The United States received your letter of May 5, in which you share your view that the board of governors of the African Development Bank should adopt the conclusions of the bank’s ethics committee and declare that the president is “totally exonerated of all the allegations made against him.” Our constituency cannot make such a declaration at this time. We have deep reservations about the integrity of the committee’s process.
Instead, we urge you to initiate an in-depth investigation of the allegations using the services of an independent outside investigator of high professional standing. We emphasize that undertaking an independent evaluation of facts, at any stage, is not at odds with a presumption of innocence.
The allegations set out in the whistleblower complaint submitted on January 19, 2020, raise significant issues that all relevant governing bodies of the bank must handle with the utmost care, using all tools available to them. Had the ethics committee undertaken a proper preliminary examination that was in line with the board of governors resolution B/BG/2008/l 1, standard practices at other international financial institutions, and the bank’s own rules and procedures, it would have reviewed available facts that could be gathered by external counsel and found in internal bank records.
We fear that wholesale dismissal of all allegations without appropriate investigation will tarnish the reputation of this institution as one that does not uphold high standards of ethics and governance. This is a serious risk when we need strong confidence in the AfDB to play an influential role in the current global economic and health crisis, and when many shareholders are seeking legislative support for payments under the recently-concluded general capital increase.
Therefore, the United States cannot support dismissing the allegations at this stage. We believe the board of governors must demonstrate that this institution takes governance, anti-corruption, and transparency seriously. We thus request that you take steps to initiate an impartial, independent investigation into these allegations. Whatever the outcome, the AfDB will emerge stronger for having taken seriously its obligations to uphold good governance.
The United States sincerely wishes the AfDB to remain a high-quality institution with the capability to address the needs of the African continent, particularly at this critical time. Considering the scope, seriousness and detail of these allegations against the sole candidate for bank leadership over the next five years, we believe that further inquiry is necessary to ensure the AfDB’s president has broad support, confidence, and a clear mandate from shareholders. Please accept our regards and appreciation for considering our request.
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