Although it is bizarre to imagine that married women would engage in cheating especially if the marriage is blessed with children, however, there have been so many reports about women having extramarital affairs.
Other than disagreements arising from childlessness and the usual ‘irreconcilable differences’, there is hardly any other thing that has wrecked marriages than infidelity.
Infidelity is perhaps as old as marriage even though it is widely believed that men cheat more than women. Studies have shown that women are as guilty as the men
Almost every married person has faced marital challenges at one time or the other. It would not be an exaggeration to say that there is no marriage without its challenges even when the partners truly love each other.
While the society usually doesn’t raise eyebrows when married men cheat, however in the case of women the stigma from family members and the society eventually destroys the women or makes her less acceptable in certain circles.
Below are a few of the most common reasons found.
1. In love with someone before marriage
It is as simple as that. Perhaps the woman was already in love with someone before marriage and could not marry him for whatever reasons or circumstances. After marriage, the lady failed to form a compatible relationship with her husband. If looked deeper, the reasons could be that the husband did not give enough care, love and attention to his wife which made her long for pre-marriage relationship. Hence this led to infidelity.
Also, it is quite possible that despite having a good husband and family of in-laws the now married woman could not forget her first love. See: How to forget an Ex you still love
Depending on individual perception, this could be an insignificant reason because “love” is so difficult to define. Also equally important are responsibility, commitment and stability. While to some others, getting satisfactory sexual and emotional intimacy may seem to be more important than remaining faithful in marriage.
2. To seek revenge
In a relationship or a marriage, where the husband is already having an affair the wife thinks it is appropriate to teach husband by having an affair herself. The other combination could be where the relationship is suffering due to the bad attitude or physical violence by the husband.
The hurt partner is now significantly encouraged to find something from outside of the marriage which has been denied to her.
Whatever may be the explanation given by the married lady, her real motivation is to seek revenge. Currently, this is the most common cause being quoted.
3. Variety is the spice of life
For some, this concept goes beyond cars, furniture and fashion and includes sexual variety through more than one partner as well.
When it comes to falling for physical attraction and wanting to have sex, women are no different from men. Sometimes women married for a couple of years to the same person have a stronger craving and they go in for a bit of a change in their routine.
Here the women are strongly attached to the physical level and for them, sex has become routine and predictable,
If she gets a chance, she does not mind having an adventure – to begin with discreetly. But later if she enjoys it then this could be in the form of a casual affair or a solid committed relationship.
All humans have desires and needs and married women having physical needs are no exception. Secondly a woman for one or the other reason may not be completely happy with her partner.
So if a woman happens to meet a man who has one or more of the qualities of being smart, great conversationalist, rich, successful then the probability is high that the woman will be lusting for him. The bonding will happen fast if the man too has a roving eye and knows how to pay the lady right compliments and strike the right cord.
Once again, this may have nothing to do with love between the husband and wife.
5. A need to feel sought after
As the marriage gets older, the mutual attraction begins to fade away. The lovebirds become two wheels of a cart called the family. The romantic emotions, physical attachment and love etc. are replaced by a mechanical life full of roles and responsibilities for both the partners.
In their middle ages, many women tend to feel unwanted and not praised by husband and kids.
It suddenly feels like an oasis in the desert, especially for the sensitive women who are starved for praise, compliments but get indifferent and bored looks from kids and husband.
Many women don’t mind exploring adult dating websites and with it come scores of men who find them attractive and sexually desirable.
Through discreet extramarital affairs with new partners, women are able to revive and re-live their past when they were found to be charming, beautiful and sexy.
6. Fostering a desire for Attention and Flattery
All women need attention but some women need it all the time and more than others. So if there is a man who is giving “the attention seeking woman” some extra attention and whispers into her ears some sweet words of flattery the affair is bound to happen, especially if the married woman does not mind having an affair.
All a smart man has to do is to spot such a woman, care about her feelings and show his concern by asking her, “Did you eat properly? Was the food to your liking? Are you OK?”
It is usual that after marriage, men tend to get busier with their careers and as husbands take their wives for granted. They don’t say “I love you” that often now. It was the same man who was much more caring and concerned for her as a boyfriend. Now if another man takes responsibility of looking after her, he is likely to have her heart.
Imagine a situation where the husband and wife are living in two separate towns because of career reasons. The wife, therefore, bears more than the usual share of responsibilities on her shoulders.
Day after day, it is the same mundane routine – gets up early, prepares breakfast, drops kids to the school, rushes to the office, faces the rough and tough world, returns home tired and there is no one to talk to and give the emotional support.
Then one day, a smart man walks into her life through the back door of emotions. It starts with having coffee together and exchange of sweet text and picture messages on Whatsapp but then it goes much beyond in no time.
It is one of the major reasons why some married women cheat on their husband or partner.
Don’t threaten people with sexual abuse, El-Rufai’s wife tells son
The first wife of Governor Nasir el-Rufai of Kaduna State, Hadiza el-Rufai, has criticised her son, Bello, over his tweets in which he threatened to have a sex orgy with someone’s mother.
Hadiza said on Twitter that sexual abuse should never be used as ammunition in public discourse.
Mrs. el-Rufai had come under attack on Sunday for seeming to take sides with her son who had threatened to gang-rape someone’s mother during a political debate.
Hadiza, who retraced her steps on Monday, tweeted:
“When I posted the tweet below, I assumed it was just the usual Twitter gbas-gbos (banter). Having read the tweets chronologically, I have had conversations with Bello. Never ever should sexual abuse be employed as ammunition in public/ private exchanges, no matter the provocation.”
Bello has been trending on Twitter for ethnic slurs and threats of sexual abuse.
Trouble started after Bello took to Twitter to attack United States President, Donald Trump, over the handling of the COVID-19 pandemic.
“There is nothing as radioactive as an incompetent leader during a time of crisis. The United States of America is a case in point. A few states in Nigeria too.”
However, a Twitter user named Consigliere with the handle @oewonah (now @thanos_zer), said Bello should rather focus on Nigeria’s President, Maj.Gen Muhammadu Buhari (retd.)
He insisted that the American President was miles ahead of Buhari and even Bello’s father, el-Rufai, in terms of quality leadership.
“He (Bello) can’t call Buhari out for his ineptitude yet he’s calling Trump names? Did he vote Trump?”
El-Rufai’s son, however, decided to rain expletives on the man who disagreed with him and also insulted his ethnicity.
“Tell your mother I’m passing her to my friends tonight. No Igbo sounds please! Tueh.
Not done, the younger el-Rufai sent a private message to Consligiere, saying it was obvious that he was attacking Buhari because he is Igbo.
Bello further stated that Buhari was completing the Second Niger Bridge in the South-East, a feat which former President Goodluck Jonathan could not attain despite being supported by Igbo.
He also insulted the leader of the Indigenous People of Biafra, Nnamdi Kanu.
“Your mother is the main whore of the South-East. I can’t reply you publicly. F**k Kanu and take a picture of the Second Niger Bridge, thanks to Buhari.
“My mentions are mine. If a Sunday bastard makes up lies and drags my father, his mother will be games. If he doesn’t want it, he shouldn’t mention me. The crowd has never phased (sic) me.
“Truly your mother’s son. Does she still earn by earning 2,019 naira per suck on Azikwe Street, Aba LGA? Tell her to wear mask and gloves while doing it due to this pandemic.”
The person whose tweets Bello was directed at, expressed shock at the insults, explaining that he wasn’t even Igbo.
The moment your husband is about to cum during s*x is when to start praying fervently – Counsellor tells women [Video]
A sex therapist and marriage counsellor, Dorcas Solomon, has advised married women on what to do when they are making love with their husbands.
Solomon, in one of her teachings on sex and relationship, counseled women to engage in fervent prayer the moment their husband is about to cum during sexual intercourse.
In the footage spotted on social media by WuzupNigeria, she was speaking on “Good Sex in Marriage”.
“When you are having sex with your husband, train yourself to the level where both of you will cum together.
“When the temperature is getting hotter between both of you and he is about to cum, that is when to hold each other and release the blessing, like I use to pray for my husband when he is releasing his sperm inside me.
“I say this is what you’re releasing inside me, right now I release the blessing of God upon your life.”
Solomon said she has been seeing results from practising what she preaches.
“I bet you I’ve been doing it and God has been blessing him.
“There is no time that he makes love with me that I won’t pray for him and it’s working for him,” she said.
She also advised couples to open up to their partners when he or she is “not doing it right” instead of resorting to cheating.
“Nothing stops you from telling your partner if he is not doing it the way you want, communication is key. Tell him/her.
“If you want it discuss it with your partner, don’t be shy about it.
She went on to say consent is very important before husband and wife engage in sexual intercourse.
See full video:
My pastor dad sleeps with me before paying my school fees – Nigerian girl tells Police
20-year-old Fortune has narrated to policemen how her pastor father started having sex with her when she was 13 years old, and that he would demand sex before paying her school fees.
Her father, the presiding Pastor of Mount Zion Light House Full Gospel Church, Obio Imo Lane, Uyo, Apostle Williams Okon Bassey, has been arrested by operatives of the Akwa Ibom State Police Command.
The state Police Public Relations Officer, Mr Odiko MacDon, who revealed that six others, including another pastor, were arrested for alleged incest and defilement, told newsmen that Fortune said she got pregnant thrice.
“The victim stated that her father started having sexual intercourse with her at the age of 13. The continuous sexual assault led her to become pregnant on three different occasions and the pregnancies were aborted by her mother.
“She further revealed that the first time her father defiled her was in the church vestry. He threatened to place a curse on her if she dares tell anyone about his escapades. He also demands sex before paying her school fees or catering for her needs.”
The Police Command’s Spokesperson added that:
“On October 31, one Anwanga Essien Udo of 7, Itiam Street, Uyo, aged 33, a Pastor with Restoration Bible Church, was arrested for having unlawful carnal knowledge of his 10-year-old step-daughter(name withheld).
“When she was left alone with him, rather than be a father to her, he opted to turn her to a sex-machine.” The police spokesman warned perpetrators of such acts to desist forthwith or be willing to contend with the full wrath of the law.
He, therefore, urged parents to also make haste in reporting every form of sexual harassment when noticed to the police or other Security Agencies in the state timely, as concealment of these crimes has only led to an increase in violations.
He commended the partnership of FEYREP, the pet project of the wife of the state governor as well as the good people of the state for their continued trust, encouragement and timely information.
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