Have you ever being in a relationship with someone with stinky breath, strong body odour or stinky feet? If it’s a Yes, then you should know what it means and how these could stand as a stumbling block to intimacy notwithstanding if the rest of the relationship is beautiful.

The major challenge when you have a partner with all of these is telling your partner he/she has a stinky breath. There is always a huge fear of hurting their feelings if you tell them. Is it not better to be honest about the stinky situation to improve your relationship, than keep it away from them? If honesty is still an essential feature in a relationship, then you may have to dare your fear and just say it as it is.

What could be the cause?

For bad breath, a number of causes could be at play, a New York dentist Dr. Nicole Khalife said, including gingivitis (gum inflammation often caused by poor oral hygiene), cavities, certain diets, sinusitis or gastroesophageal reflux disease, among others.

When gingivitis progresses, it eats away at the gums and bone that support the teeth. This results in a bad and very distinct smell.

Khalife said,

“Unfortunately, when patients see that their gums are bleeding and painful, it discourages them from brushing and flossing, and the cycle continues.”

Body odour is often caused by sweat mixing with and breaking down bacteria on the skin, particularly in areas such as the armpits or groin. And while it may not smell great, it’s usually not cause for concern. However, if you’ve noticed that the odour has changed or strengthened, it could point to a more serious health issue and should be checked out by a doctor.

The irony in all of these is that the person affected may not know, so don’t blame them when they always want intimacy despite their stinky breath. Sometimes they don’t just know they stink.

So how should you help your partner?

Telling your partner that they’re giving off a foul odour may hurt them really hard, no matter how subtle or romantic you say it. But isn’t it better you break it to them and hurt them than to hear people talking about it behind their back, by then they won’t be the only one to feel the hurt, you also would be greatly hurt.

It’s better that your partner hears this from you (someone they love and trust) than an acquaintance or co-worker. And if the stench is making you less inclined to kiss, cuddle or have sex with your partner, then it’s likely getting in the way of your relationship. So it’s worth bringing up, not minding if their ox is gored.

For starters, broaching the subject with kindness and care is essential, rather than attacking, criticizing or blaming your partner. The phrasing that’s often used follows a structure like: “I feel ____ about ____, and I need ____.”

In this case, you may consider putting it this way:

“I feel concerned about your breath, especially when it keeps me from being close to you, and I need us to explore ways to make sure it doesn’t keep us apart,” said Brittle, co-host of the podcast Marriage Therapy Radio.

Saying it this way, you’re focusing on the connection you desire rather than the issue you don’t.

When the odour in question is tied to a health condition — like chronic sinus infections or a medication that causes dry mouth — you may want to be extra sensitive in your delivery. Your partner likely has less control over the situation than they would if the condition was just about stepping up their flossing game or showering after spin class.

Just remember to be kind and choose your words carefully.

Khalife said,

“Make sure it comes from a place of concern and not a place of disgust. The last thing you want to do is make your partner feel ashamed to get treatment.”

If you and your partner share a jokey rapport, telling them in a lighthearted or playful way (for example. “Oh, your breath sure is kicking today!”) might be appropriate. But if you’re not sure how your partner is going to take it, try to avoid making a wisecrack.

“Avoid name-calling or negative humour,” Brittle said. “And don’t focus on the problem more than the person. Again, they likely already know they have an issue.”

You may be scared of hurting your partner’s feelings, but being honest about the stinky situation would surely improve your relationship.

 

 

 

Adapted from Huffington Post