They just started dating and were madly in love or so she thought. They were always on the phone talking and everything was going on well. You know that type of feeling when a relationship just started newly, yes that feeling can be really sweet. They just couldn’t get enough of each other.

He was showing her too much affection and attention like she has always wanted and she was equally reciprocating. Waking up every morning to his sweet text messages or ‘good morning’ calls was heavenly. Going all day knowing that somebody somewhere is crazy about you and you mean the world to him was bliss until her job got in the way.

Her job won’t let her be with him on the phone all the time and chatting like he would love to. After the usual morning calls and messages, her only break again is lunch time and they spend it on phone chatting. Once she’s back to work, he only gets to speak or chat with her again at the close of work.

Barely a month into the relationship, he got really upset one day and asked her “how much is even that salary of yours that is more important than speaking to me whenever I need you?”

#120,000. She responded “I’ll pay you #150,000 every month, I just need you to quit your job today and I mean every word of it” he said.

Girl didn’t think it through. To her, this must be true love and she finally hit a jack pot. so she resigned from her job so that her man could have her undivided attention at all times.

Two months later, the relationship parked up. It ended and they both went their separate ways. She is back in the labor market looking for a job.

I know falling in love comes with some high degree of stupidity. There is even a saying that “love is a mess, those involved can’t see clearly, only a bystander can.”

Women must wise up and stop thinking and making life-altering decisions with their emotions. You have a brain for a reason. You must have that consciousness that all that glitters is not gold. It’s best to always think things through. If possible, seek a second and even third opinion on issues that has direct bearing on your life or your source of income.

If a man tells you to quit your job so he pays you monthly because he wants you whenever ask yourself to what end? Is it just about the money? What about career growth, self-development and fulfilment?

Do you want to be ‘a stay at home girlfriend’ getting paid for doing nothing? What if the relationship ends? Don’t be unfortunate and unbelievably foolish in this 21st century.

You must realize that the early frenzy and emotional feelings bursting from men at the beginning of every relationship is more of infatuation than love. It’s sometimes more of obsession – especially men that love to control women. The most dangerous type of men women should run away from are men who see women as possessions.

Any man who asks you to resign your job just so you are available whenever he wants you is a man that is almost likely not to support your dreams and aspirations. He will not encourage you to become a better you and possibly one big mistake waiting to happen. He does not think highly of your life goals, he will interrupt and drown your voice some how.

Controlling men are overbearing, possessive and will do everything humanly possible to isolate you from your family, friends and source of income. They are usually up to no good in the long run. They can be extremely jealous and even emotionally or physically abusive. It won’t be long before the abuse, threats or ultimatums to maintain a sense of power (control) over you becomes a daily routine.

So, be careful to not get easily carried away in the early part of your relationship because real love starts much later, when his infatuation about your looks, body shape, level of intelligence exuded initially has waned off.

Women must work for self-fulfilment/actualisation and not necessary for money. Don’t allow men distract you from your hustle. Although there are women who want to sit at home, paint their faces, watch Television, chat on phones all day, engage in meaningless gossips while their men are out there working, it’s their choice. They weren’t forced to live like that.

A young girl quitting her job to become a full-time girlfriend tells more about her exposure and upbringing than blind love. Children learn from people around them while growing, especially their own parents. No exposed girl with a good head and proper upbringing will give up her career for love, because she understands the risks behind leaving certainty for uncertainty.

So, parents must teach their daughters about life, emotional intelligence, and how to be street smart. Teach them about power and how it can be used to build or destroy. Teach them to never hold on to fear.

When a girl fully grasps the ways and patterns of what is obtainable out there, heartbreaks, betrayals, emotional bullies, blackmailers and control freaks will have little or no hold on her.

Her foundation will help her make better life choices. She will read in-between the lines because she knows better never to give up her source of livelihood in pursuit of love or relationship.